The. Ultimate. Sandwich.
[If you’ve been waiting, here is the Chipotle Mayo.]
This sandwich is pretty much stolen from The Porch. All I did was add an egg, which isn’t even an original idea, and then I added a letter E to change the name.
I wanted to change the name to The cBALTrEcMgsB, but that’s just not pronounceable.
BALTE, by the way, is pronounced “bahlt.” Or “bawlt” if you’re Southern.
But really, all those letters in cBALTrEcMgsB are important. It’s important to use crispy bacon. Who wants a floppy bacon sandwich? I’ve had one before and it’s just not the same. It’s important to add a runny egg. Think about how much yummier a sandwich is when it’s messy and drippy and your fingers and cheeks are just as happy as your taste buds. It’s important to use chipotle mayo. Plain mayo is fine and all, but chipotle mayo gives it that extra peppy step. And finally, it’s important to use a hunk of good bread. The Porch serves their BALT on slathered-in-butter grilled sesame bread, so I served mine on slathered-in-bacon-grease grilled sesame bread. Just to up the ante a bit.
My friend Chris cannot get through a conversation without talking about food. Or maybe it’s just his conversations with me that revolve around food. Actually, now that I think about it, the latter is
probably definitely true. It’s more likely that it’s me that can’t get through a conversation without mentioning food.
Anyway, Chris, who you’ve met before, can’t get through a conversation about food without mentioning The BALT, his favorite sandwich, ohmygosh the bestsandwichever. (Insert drooling Chris here.) And so, when I got a message one day at 12:15 pm that said, “Lunch at 12:30 at The Porch,” I bolted. Even though I had to stop in the middle of something important and then re-arrange the rest of my day, I had to go. I’m tired of hearing about this “best sandwich ever,” it’s time to taste it for myself.
There were six friends at my table and five of us ordered “The BALT with a fried egg, please,” and the sixth guy wished he had. And then we all proceeded to devour half of the sandwich. Then there was talk of to-go boxes and maybe even one to-go box made it to the table, but none of those boxes were actually filled because our tummies were filled. To the top. And then expanded to the max. And filled some more. Because you just cannot get enough.
So I knew that I had to replicate this sandwich at home. But I was nervous about my abilities. That’s a lot of items on a sandwich! What if I can’t even get mine to stand up straight? It’s just going to be a sloppy pile of cBALTrEcMgsB and won’t be photogenic at all and probably won’t even taste half as good! Oh, the anxiety!
Well, I attempted anyway and I took the extra sandwich to Chris and he said, “This is just as freaking* good as The Porch.” (Insert smiling, pleased-as-punch Danielle.)
*I have substituted a blog-appropriate word. But his word was pretty complimentary.
- ¼ cup light mayonnaise (I like Hellman's Light)
- 2 tablespoons fat free Greek yogurt or light sour cream
- 1 chipotle from 1 can of chipotles in adobo
- 2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lime juice
- 6 slices bacon
- 4 slices good sandwich bread (I used Sesame Semolina from Panera)
- 2 slices leafy green lettuce
- 1 small tomato, sliced ¼-inch thick
- ½ ripe avocado, sliced
- To make the mayo, place all ingredients in a food processor and blend on high until uniform in color.
- In a large skillet, over medium-high heat, cook the bacon until crispy, about 2 minutes per side. Placed the cooked bacon on paper towels to drain the fat. Remove some of the bacon fat from the skillet, but leave enough to grill the bread in.
- Place the bread in the skillet and grill over medium heat until one side is slightly browned and crispy, about 3 minutes. Place the bread on plates to assemble the sandwiches.
- Spread the inside of each slice with chipotle mayo. Top each bottom slice of bread with lettuce, tomato, avocado, and bacon.
- In the same skillet, fry two eggs in the leftover bacon grease on medium-high heat until the whites are opaque, but the yolks are still runny, about 1 minute per side. Place one egg on top of each sandwich. Then top with the remaining bread slices.
- Serve immediately.